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Color Bars

by Mike Whissell

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1.
White Knight 01:28
2.
Super Powers 03:22
Sometimes I wish I had super powers Super strength, super speed, or flight Photographic memory rewinding hours Relive the days that I was your White Knight The only caveat being that I would remember everything Line by line, my list of failures So long it ends beyond the horizon sun Highlights saturate the limelight I’ve been blind to you It’s so trendy- I’m emotionally aware I’m working hard not just repeating words I hear The only caveat being that I still regret everything Line by line, my list of failures So long it ends beyond the rising sun Highlights saturate the limelight I’ve been blind to you Finite lives, my blissful hubris So soon it ends before the horizon comes Highlights saturate the limelight I’ve been blind, and I still cry for you
3.
The Beast 03:57
I’ve been over-thinking, Overanalyzing me with you Off in the distance, I’m just a tourist in my youth In between the soundwaves Not lacking ebb and flow I am the Beast with Something fresh to sow I never got better, in fact I am getting worse Axioms are firing with no signal getting through This moment marks a portrait with deep and violent hues Complacent beast inside is forced to follow winding roads On sidelines: Wretched Angels you can’t bear to face alone I never got better, I am getting worse I’m resetting the clock every time you mention her With age comes wisdom, lovers scars will still hurt I’m not asking for a handout I’m happy lying face down in the dirt In between the soundwaves Not lacking Ebb and Flow I am the Beast with Something fresh to sow Been forced to find yet another road Deep currents beckon my soul Twilight hour bourbon talk with life long distance friends How all the things that own us become smaller in the end I realised so long ago I'm no protagonist When I leave to find myself, it's never worth the trip I read your letters, and I know how it hurts I'm reliving your losses now it's finally my turn With age comes the wisdom that some bridges stay burned I’m not calling for help, I am happy in the dirt
4.
Almost Home 04:45
5.
In the mirror door just above the sink Names you used to use, indelible ink Late night subway car, lonely grisaille lights Can’t stop getting by, borrowing strife Pigeon architects admiring the view All the way down from ancient rusted roofs Never aiming for super strength or speed Just to get back to who you used to be They say that it’s hard "One step at a time" Revert to a calm mediocre life Every single deed done in altruism One more villain comes with piercing ammunition No hymn for the meek, no more swan songs Hero of the week is sleeping through alarms Past lessons learned, vanquish and deflect Inner battle scars cynics will reject You get to the age years seem to fade Days feel the same, and senses are delayed Crushing one more pill, "Baby steps this time" Revert to a calm glass of whisky night Fold your origami cumbersome and trite Mobius strips, this mediocre life === Take one every 8 hours- or as needed
6.
Have you ever opened the back of your television to let all the little people out? Have you ever tried to check if the light is still on when the fridge door is closed? When talking to someone with the same name as you, do you sometimes get confused as to which one you are? Do you ever find yourself singing 'singing in the rain' in the rain? When people ask you for directions do you get the urge to send them in completely the opposite direction? Have you ever lost your voice and looked for it? Have you ever become so obsessed with an object to the point of not allowing anyone else to touch it? Are you plagued by strange coincidences?
7.
Emulating empathy and keeping clean your falsest grin Scolded for erroneous thought and tested by the Enigmatologist A lingo expert falls to guess work and interprets your silences Clandestinely the melodies seep from the stereo expanding to fill the room A third person chain smoking lit only by the ash left smouldering Says to me “Can’t you see your quips fade into old tape crackle and hiss Truthfully, you knew that we had completed our analysis You’re getting used to saving ink and leaving 'next of kin' fields blank The policy is gonna be scorched earth when it comes to your friends Your 'whataboutism' bleeds your honesty too slow to comprehend.” Our squandered lease on youth Wearing masks to speak the truth The same somber weekend tunes Can’t make those creases smooth
8.
We’ve invented these time machines But they only go forwards Yeah everybody’s got one Only paused for turning blind corners Talk about chemical addictions Not about black mirror vision Newest dose of mythopoeic fiction Is just a bout of lazy repetition I got scratch before I start itching Want to leave but I’m the exhibition I down a glass to see my own reflection Another dose of lazy repetition I’m still not sure about you That’s alright with me, if that’s alright with you
9.
This shipwreck- an invention of the ship This car crash- an invention of the car My heartache- an intention of my heart I’m hoping it’s over She’s still searching for the last first date And I'm waiting for the color bars to fade She’s still searching for the shape of flame But I'm waiting for the me in her gaze These shadows of buildings fall on me This concrete jungle grew without a seed Those prisons built but indiscreet No freedom from medicine fatigue This shipwreck- an invention of the ship This heartbreak- an invention of the heart I hope it’s over
10.
I see you with kaleidoscope eyes All the way broken shards combine Ambiguity is your kryptonite In this house of cards of your design You’re still in search of a last first kiss I'm trying hard to find my factory reset Will she reveal the gears and tines My corroded wires and lacquer lines The vestiges could be reshined Ivory keys and re-tuned right You with me in your gaze Me with the heart still on my sleeve We could spend the night again Be lovers locked in with hourglass sand Hearts beating through toxic dreams Self-loathing and romantic apathy Cruciverbalist machine I had fallen for you so completely I’m still not sure about you I’m just a tourist in my own youth

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released January 7, 2021

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Mike Whissell Toronto, Ontario

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